About Us

Troll

Hi, I’m Vern, the Lawful Evil Troll. I lurk under all the pages that bridge this site. I’m tall, full figured, and fully regenerated. I like moonlight strolls along the river, toll collecting, and desserts–just desserts. Recently widowed, I am looking for a true commitment to love. In fact, it is the only thing I will tolerate–just ask my ex-wife (if you have a Speak with Dead spell handy). So, if you want to trip-trop across my bridge, you better bring your love.

Please be respectful and kind to others while you are in my lair. Remember, just because you’re a human, doesn’t mean you have to act like one. I know you people have active imaginations and like to think hating on each other and pretending to be a troll is fun and easy, but it’s not. Trust me; I’ve been a troll for hundreds of years, a lot longer than this crazy inter-web thingee of yours has been around, and that’s not how we act. Besides, we’re solitary; there’s a definite one troll per bridge limit. Around here that troll is me—not you, me. Got it? If I have to come up there because you can’t all get along, you’re not going to like it.

But I don’t want to scare you. It’s been really great meeting you. Thanks for stopping by. I hope to be seeing you often. Don’t forget to pay the toll—one smile and a kind word. (I don’t make change.)

Assassin

Sh.

ASSASSIN: From the Shadows